Saturday, April 30, 2005

All Fall Down

Last night I went to Minneapolis with Kristen and Laura. We went there to meet Laura's friend Trevis, but he never called us. Still, we had an interesting time. We went to Saint Sabrina's piercing shop/clothing parlor, a thrift store, and incense store, McDonald's, M.A.C., Ragstock, Cheapo, and Calhoune Square. I bought some rainbow suspenders and a red, long sleeved dress with white polka dots all over it. I also bought a used cd by The Hunger, it's called "Cinematic Superthug". We had Jon come and pick us up at 8:30, it was a major help, picked up his friend Baxter from Rosedale center at 9:30 and dropped him off at a friend's house, and then Jon dropped us off. I wish we could have gone to a party, or made one at Trevis' apartment like he suggested, but overall I still had a fun time. Now I'm wondering if what tonight will hold in store...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Yes, please.

yesterday I was feeling sad and depressed. as usual. but Patrick came unexpectedly by and we hung out for a few hours. it was very fun. I climbed 2 trees, and it snowed.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Down on Vine Street

Hoorah for Slipknot concerts!!! ^_^ I went and saw them last night with Jessi and her friend Tucker, and while I was there I met Hewer, saw Aaron, Chase, Travis, and Dan, imagine the chances of that O_o
Shadows Fall opened, they sucked and the crowd didn't really get going until Lamb of God, and then of course for Slipknot everyone just went fucking crazy.
I was on the floor, getting around the pit as best I could to get some of the action. I got bruises n'stuff, I love it so. I tried sneaking backstage but when I got to the bottom of the seats behind them there was a 50 foot drop or so to the hard concrete floor, so I thought it best to just try some other time. Got drenched with more sweat and beer and cigarette and weed smoke then I care to think about, which made it all the more cooler.

eeeeeeeeee I loved it, a lot more fun than last year, I must go again (:<
\m/(-_-)\m/

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Patzivota

I'm feeling very alone right now. very alone and inadequate. it doesn't help that I'm listening to sad music. but it's beautiful. I don't feel beautiful right now. I feel like I have no one to really talk to, no one who really listens. and I keep trying to find someone, but it never works out. I feel like I can't talk to my mother or my father.

I want to feel good.
I want to talk to someone.
I want someone to care.
I want to be loved.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Sincerely

Jesus I could not be lower right now if I tried.

well I could but it doesn't feel like it.

why the fuck does my mom have to be a bitch after I talked to her about stuff, I don't get it. she fucking hugged me. ugh. I feel like shutting down and not talking to anyone ever again but I can't because it's what I DO, I talk to people and I spill my guts out for the whole world to see and yes I said the whole world because according to her I think THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME but hey maybe I do becauase I mean come on SHE FUCKING SAID SO. I NEED ROOM.

and then she took my razor away. like that will stop me. I'm getting another one.

the other night I was so afraid I would die in my sleep.
I don't want to die I just want to be heard and loved.
my self-esteem is next to nothing so some more of that wouldn't hurt either.

.::[Being For the Benefit of Mr. Kite]::.
(The Beatles)
For the benefit of Mr. Kite
There will be a show tonight on trampoline
The Hendersons will al be there
Late of Pablo Fanques Fair - what a scene!
Over man and horses hoops and garters
Lastly through a hogshead of real fire!
In this way Mr. K. will challenge the world!

The celebrated Mr. K.
performs his feat on Saturday at Bishopsgate
The Hendersons will dance and sing
As Mr. Kite flies through the ring - don't be late!
Messrs. K. and H. assure the public
Their production will be second to none
And of course Henry The Horse dances the waltz!

The band begins at ten to six
When Mr. K. performs his tricks without a sound
And Mr. H. will demonstrate
Ten summersets he'll undertake on solid ground
We've been some days in preparation
A splendid time is guaranteed for all
And tonight Mr. Kite is topping the bill
=====================================================

I remember hating you for loving me

ok so somehow I managed to delete a few hundred songs from my iPod, not just any few hundred but the only few hundred I actually listened to ) :

Saturday, April 16, 2005

it is not

my heartbeat is shattering and my head will explode and my veins will collapse

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Pop spelled backwards is poP

here's a survey I filled out in my spare time, though most of you probably either already knew this information or don't care. this is for those who don't/do ( :

Long Survey About Yourself

Created by bleedwithoutreason and taken 24494 times on bzoink!

What time are you starting this?3:05
Name?Alyssa
Nicknames?I don't have any, really
Date of birth?June 2nd, 1989
Sex?female!
Height?62''
Eye color?brown
Where were you born?in a waiting room at the bottom of the sea >.>
Number of candles on your last birthday cake?I don't like cake much...
Pets?I have a kitty and his name is Peanut
Hair color?brown
Piercings?3 holey holes in each ear
Town you live in?
Favorite foods?chicken!
Ever been to Africa?no!
Been toilet papering?*shakes head*
Love someone so much it made you cry?yea...
Been in a car accident?nope
Croutons or bacon bits?I think both of those are yummy
Favorite day of the week?Friday
Favorite resturant?Chinese food places
Favorite flower?roses are pretty and they smell nice
Favorite sport to watch?
Favorite drink?hot chocolate with marshmallows
Favorite ice cream flavor?anything with chocolate chip pieces
Warner Bros. or Disney?Disney
Favorite fast food restuarant?KFC because it's so greasy and my heart clogs!
Carpet color in your bedroom?this ugly beige color with speckles all over that look like wild rice or puke...
How many times did you fail your driver's test?I haven't taken it yet but golly I hope I pass it the first time O.O
Whom did you get your last email from?myspace
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?Bloomingdale's
What do you do most often when you are bored?I go on the internet...or sleep...or eat...or talk on the phone...or do homework...
Most annoying thing to say to me?I hate it when people mock me and they're not kidding...
Bedtime?whenever I get tired
Favorite TV show?Design on a Dime!
Last person you went out to dinner with?:mommy and daddy and brother
Been out of country?yes
Believe in magick?no
Ford or Chevy?Chevy
What are you listening to right now?*click clack click clack* go the keys as I type
Have you ever failed a grade?no o:
If you have, what grade did you fail?none!
Do you have a crush on someone?yes (but shhh don't tell, I have a crush on Patrick)
Do you have a bf/gf?yes ^_^
If so, what is their name?Patrick!
How long have you been together?since April fools day <.<
What are you wearing right now?nothing ( ;
Would you have sex before marriage?probably
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?God no O_O
Are you a virgin?depends on your definition
Do you smoke?no
Do you drink?no
Are you ghetto?no but your mom is
Are you a player?no but your mom is
What are your favorite colors?pink and purple
What is your favorite animal?kitties and panda bears and Patrick!!!
Do you have any birthmarks?nope
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?well one time my cat was kindof mad at me...I'm sure he would have kicked my ass, given the chance...
Who do you talk to most on the phone?Patrick, Annis, Laura, Kristen, Jerome
Have you ever been slapped?yes
Do you get online a lot?yes
Are you shy or outgoing?outgoing times a million
Do you shower?I try to, occasionally
Do you hate school?it's alright
Do you have a social life?most weekends I do
How easily do you trust people?to easily..."I'm the kind of guy who wears my mind on my sleeve...I have a habit o losing my shirt."
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?not that I can think of at the moment
Would you ever sky dive?in a flash
Do you like to dance?yes
Have you ever been out of state?yes
Do you like to travel?it depends on who I'm with, where I'm going, and how I get there
Have you ever been expelled from school?no
Have you ever been suspended from school?no
Do you want to get out of your hometown?I don't have a hometown
Are you spoiled?in a few ways yes
Are you a brat?no
Have you ever been dumped?yes
Have you ever gotten high?no
Do you like snapple?yes
Do you drink a lot of water?yes
What toothpaste do you use?I'm not sure what the brand name is
Do you have a cell phone?no
Do you have a curfew?not really
Who do you look up to?older people and younger people
Are you a role model?yes...not sure if I'm a very good one...
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point?I've been to Six Flags over Texas a couple times
What name brand do you wear the most?I don't where brand names
What kind of jewelry do you wear?stuff that I make myself...beaded necklaces and bracelets and random finds at the thrift store
What do you want pierced?my lip and my tongue
Do you like takin pictures?yes
Do you like gettin your picture taken?sometimes
Do you have a tan?no
Do you get annoyed easily?yes
Have you ever started a rumor?not intentionally
Do you have your own phone or phone line?no
Do you have your own pool?no
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?I like it when ze boys wear boxers
Do you have any siblings?yes
Have you ever been played?not that I know of
Have you ever played anyone?no
Do you get along with your parents?sometimes
How do you vent your anger?writing...sleeping
Have you ever ran away?no
Have you ever been fired from a job?no
Do you even have a job?yes
Do you daydream a lot?no
Do you have a lot of ex's?depends on what you consider "a lot", I have a few
Do you run your mouth?oh goodness yes
What do you want a tattoo of?I don't want a tatoo
What do you have a tattoo of?I don't have a tatoo
What does your ex bf/gf look like?they look like your average everyday guys
What does your most recent crush look like?Patrick is so gorgeous...
Whats her/his name?
Have you ever been bitched out?excuse me?
Are you rude?when I'm not thinking to not be rude I am
What was the last compliment you recieved?Kelsey told me I would be a hard person to forget ( :
Do you like getting dirty?*cough cough*
Are you flexiable?no
What is your heritage?Norwegian and German
What is your lucky number?I don't have one
What does your hair look like right now?messy and cut to my shoulders
Could you ever be a vegetarian?no O_o I likes me some meat!
Describe your looks?I think I'm rather plain looking
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?I'm *thinking* of going purple or pink or blue or all 3
Would you ever date someone younger than you?I have before, I would again
Would you ever date someone older than you?that's usually how it is for me
When was the last time you were drunk?I've never been drunk
How many rings until you answer the phone?1-3
Have you ever been skinny dipping?no but golly I'd like to
If yes, when was the last time?
When was the last time you went on a date?I had Patrick over on Friday, I think that would be considered a date
Do you look more like your mother or father?mother
Do you cry a lot?lately I have been
Do you ever cry to get your way?no
What phrase do you use most when on the phone?I giggle a lot
Are you the romantic type?yes, very much so
Have you ever been chased by cops?no
What do you like most about your body?overall I like the way it looks, it's hard to pick out just one thing
What do you like least about your body?I wish I was a few inches taller
When did you have your first crush?2nd grade
When was the last time you threw up?the first Monday of gym class back in January >.<
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?I don't have a preference
Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly?yes
What about cleavage?yes
Have you ever fucked someone up?no
Have you ever been fucked up?no
What theme does your room have?Hello Kitty
What size shoe do you wear?9 in women's
What is your screen name on AIM?Allybubbles13
How are you feeling right now?erm...my nipple itches?
When was the last time you were at a party?St. Patrick's day
Have you ever given a lapdance?I think so?
Have you ever recieved one?yes O_O
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?I've heard things
What is one of your bad qualilties?I don't like myself much
What is one of your good qualilties?I make people happy
Would you marry for money?no
What do you drive?I don't drive yet
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child?neither
So?
Well?the little girl was pushed down into the well
When was the last time you cried in school?x:
Would you ever hook up with the same sex?yes
What kind of music do you like?a lot of different kinds...music you can sing and dance to is good
What is your worst fear?being raped
Would you ever join the army?no
Do you like cows?yes
If you were to die today, what would you do?kill myself
If you had one last word to say to someone before you die, what would it be?"goodbye"
Do you like to party?yes
Hearts or broken hearts?both
Moons or stars?stars, definitely
Coke or pepsi?neither
Favorite scent?rain, roses, flesh, Patrick
Favorite band?Bent, Eiffel 65
Would you ever dye your hair red?yes
How many languages can you speak?2, French and English (I tend to excell at English though)
What time are you finishing this?3:52

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Saturday, April 09, 2005

over.

May. Motherfucking. 10th.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Must Get Out

[.::Must Get Out::.]
(Maroon 5)

I’ve been the needle and the thread
Weaving figure eights and circles round your head
I try to laugh but cry instead
Patiently wait to hear the words you’ve never said

Fumbling through your dresser drawer forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you crying

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy and we must get out

This IS not goodbye she said
It is just time for me to rest my head
She does not walk she runs instead
Down these jagged streets and into my bed

When I was
Fumbling through your dresser drawer forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
Making use of all this time
Keeping everything inside
Close my eyes and listen to you crying

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city’s made us crazy and we must get out

There’s only so much I can do for you
After all of the things you put me through

(Oooohhhh!!)
I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'm fooling around,
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city’s made us crazy and we must get out

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'M FOOLING AROUND!
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city’s made us crazy and we must get out

I'm lifting you up
(Whoa!)
I'm letting you down
(Whooooooaaaaa!)
I'm dancing til dawn
(Whoa!)
I'm fooling around
(Whoa!)
I'm not giving up
(Yeah!)
I'm making your love
This city’s made us crazy and we must get out
==========================================================

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Cherios!

Patrick is lovely. and pretty. tomorrow he will come over and we will make sweet love. or hang out. whatever :P
and Saturday SMB and All the the Pretty Horses and Toast will be at the garage!!!!!!
I want sponge children.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

FUCK

i'm so fucking angry at my parents right now. it's like they can't do anything right. or doing anything without screwing everything the fuck up.

Friday, April 01, 2005

J'aime Patrick

I am Patrick's girlfriend now. I really like him. and he really likes me.

<3